When I picked the girls up from school on Wednesday, I was excited to learn that both girls had used the potty all day. I told them we could stop at the store and buy the kites they had been lusting after for some time. While we were in Walgreens buying the kites, Sweetie Pie decided that would be a perfect time to poop her pants. I $h!t you not! Seriously?!?! Since she had technically already earned the kite, I still bought it. While we were walking to the cashier, Cupcake announced she also needed to use the bathroom. This particular Walgreens didn't have a public restroom so I told Cupcake she would have to use the potty we keep in the car. Yes, I know, G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S. I keep a potty in my car, what of it? Have you ever been to a park when your child has to go potty and there isn't a bathroom in sight? Well, I have and I am going to avoid at all costs, making my kids pop a squat out in the great, wide open. So we get to the car and I open the back of the van and start changing Sweetie Pie's pants. All of sudden, I feel someone near me and I look and there is an old man carrying a box of graham crackers and Chicago Tribune standing right in my personal space. Awkward! He begins to tell me that he just visited his daughter at the hospital and he has three balloons (2 reds and a blue) in his car for his grandson's graduation and wants to know if we want to see them? Ummmmm, Hell to the No, I don't want to see your balloons. Actually, what I said was, "No, Thank you". (Darn you, Mom, and your etiquette lessons!) Apparently, he took my response as an open invitation to continue the conversation. He then proceeded to tell me that I should be careful where I park and make sure I don't park near any jalopies (I am assuming he was referring to an old car and not to himself). He then proceeded to put his hand in my car, where my keys/purse where sitting and rub my purse. Yes! Rub my purse! I grabbed it and threw it towards the front of the car. He didn't say a word. Poor Michael (Kors) was fondled by a crazy! I made an appointment with a therapist and I am hoping he can just forget about this whole dreadful incident. I finished up with Sweetie Pie in record time and whispered in her ear to hurry up to the front and buckle herself in. Proving once again why I call her my sweetie pie, she immediately obeyed. Then here comes Cupcake to the back of the van carrying the potty seat telling me, "Mommy, I reaaaalllllyy have to go!" I told her to hold it until we get home. She refuses and then proceeds to pull down her pants in front of Mr. Wackadoodle. I told him, "Well, thanks for the advice, have a nice day!" He took the hint and headed towards the store. Of course Cupcake asks me who he was. I told her, "I have no idea but he is creeping me out so please hurry so we can leave before he comes back". She then told me,"Mommy, you are right, I do not like that man, he is naughty". She finishes up and I tell her to jump in her seat and buckle up. As I am closing the hatch, who do you think comes out of the store? I bolt for the driver's side. Cupcake's sliding door was open facing the store and she screams, "Hurry, Mommy, he's coming! He's coming, hurry!" LMAO, I think I have taught the stranger danger lesson! I jump in the car and zoom out of that parking lot. As I drove by him, he realized he missed me and went to entertain the mailman that had just pulled up with his crazy talk. I am sure he was just a lonely old man but seriously, that was weird.
